Vida Explicada: Homens e mulheres…

Tantos botões, tanta complexidade aparente… ainda assim, não há nada como uma conversa no feminino! A mulher é muito mas muito mais interessante…

Rir rir rir… é o melhor remédio!

Testemunhos no tribunal: Segue-se algo que encontrei numa das minhas incursões pela web… testemunhos reais dados por pessoas em tribunal. Alguns deles são mesmo hilariantes.. o pior é que também eu já dei muitas destas pérolas de sabedoria

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget.ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Uh…

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death.ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

fonte: http://www.amigamccc.org/journal/0709cour.htm

Mr. Bush and Mrs. Condolezza Rice hehe

Perfect! What a great laugh…

http://www.freewebs.com/lfriedma/funny.html

Isto é Hollywood…

Fã confesso de tudo o que tenha a ver com curiosidades sobre as personalidades que fazem o cinema e o show-biz americano, é com muito gosto que deixo aqui apresentadas algumas pérolas que nos chegam de terras do tio Sam. Já viram o que seria se a mega-estrela-em-decadência Tom Cruise tivesse mantido o seu nome verdadeiro, Tom Mapother? Ou se a sensual Jennifer Aniston optasse por manter o seu nome de baptismo, Jennifer Annasstakis? Aqui ficam alguns dos nomes verdadeiros de muitas das celebridades do cinema de Hollywood. Vá… momento cómico da semana!

Allen Stewart Konigsberg = Woody Allen.
Fred Astaire = Frederick Austerlitz
Jennifer Aniston = Jennifer Annasstakis
Julie Andrews = Julie Wells
Eric Bana = Eric Banadinovi
Marlon Brando = Marlon Junior Brandeau.
Nicolas Cage = Nicolas Coppola: Nome alterado para que não houvesse qualquer associação imediata ao nome do seu tio, Francis Ford Coppola
Joan Crawford = Lucille La Sueur
Tom Cruise = Tom Mapother.
Geena Davis = Virginia Elizabeth Davis.
Conhecem Doris von Kappelhoff? Não? Que tal Doris Day?
Danny DeVito = Daniel Michaeli.
Sally Fields = Sally Mahoney.
Judy Garland = Frances Gumm
Whoopie Goldberg = Caryn Johnson.
Diane Keaton = Diane Hall.
Ben Kingsley = Krishna Banji.
Shirley MacLaine = Grande surpresa! O seu nome verdadeiro é Shirley Beatty. Sim, irmã de Warren Beatty!
Walter Matthau = Walter Matuschanskayasky.
Demi Moore = Demetria Gene Guynes
Chuck Norris = Carlos Ray.
Brad Pitt = William Bradley Pitt.
Meg Ryan = Margaret Mary Emily Anne Hyra.
Wynona Ryder = Wynona Horowitz.
Charlie Sheen = Carlos Irwin Esteves.
Jean-Claude Van Damme = Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg.
Christopher Walken = Ronald Walken.
Sigourney Weaver = Susan Alexandra Weaver
Bruce Willis = Walter Willison

Podem consultar a lista original em http://www.glamorati.com/celebrity/2008/50-celebrities-real-names/